+29 Not letting someone look through your phone doesn't mean you have something to hide, amirite?

by Informal_Soup 1 week ago

I agree. I wouldn't particularly like anyone looking through my phone. We choose, all the time, every day, what information we want to share with people. We are not obliged to be completely open books with everyone. Not even the people we love the most. We all need boundaries. I had to learn to make boundaries, after being too much of an open book. I don't tell everyone what I'm experiencing. I choose to share different information about myself with different people. For example, if I've had a bad experience with someone, there are only some people I'd want to discuss this with, because they are the ones who would be able to help me work through it the best. These days, phones are like the old fashioned Diary. Were we expected to share our diaries with others? The answer would be a clear NO, unless we chose to.

by Quincydaniel 1 week ago

So you do have things to hide. You're just okay with hiding those things because you fell you're not obliged to show them. Not wanting someone to look through your phone definitely means you have something to hide though.

by Langmarley 1 week ago

Yes we all have something to hide. It's called our lives. That doesn't mean there's anything going on, or wrong. Why do you wear underwear or clothes? Have something to hide under there? Why do us humans have skin covering our organs? We must have something to hide under there huh? The logic is so backwards.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hmm I don't know, a lot of rationalizing for someone hiding organs inside their skin, and stuff underneath their clothes... Why not just show everything underneath of them if you have nothing to hide? Oh wait, because a level of privacy protects you in certain ways even if there's nothing of note to every person trying to invade that privacy? Oh wow now we're onto something! Don't be daft, the conversation being had is a negative connotation associated with "hiding something." I said technically of course everyone is hiding something as in if you're not outwardly projecting it it is by definition hidden, but that shouldn't have a negative connotation. A basic level of privacy is not a suspicious thing nor does anyone have an innate obligation to surrender that privacy because of unfounded, or founded, suspicion. What leads you to believe I'm offended? I'm using metaphors to help illustrate my point.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Besides the fact that I would die if I opened my skin up, I just don't want to show them. Im HIDING them. I think you're hung up on being called suspicious or wrong. I'm not saying you're either. I'm just saying you ARE hiding things.

by Langmarley 1 week ago

I understand your point, but then EVERYONE is hiding something, but that's clearly not what op and others mean when they say someone is "hiding something" so what is this revelation of yours adding to the conversation exactly? I'm "hung up" on that because that's what every single other person means when they say someone is "hiding something." Do you understand this?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Don't get trapped here, they're trying to trap you in some emotional battle. There's no real points being made. The vast majority of people who want to live a full life hide things, because certain moments will be out of character, and we don't like sharing those. That's about it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why should you need to take that first step if you trust the person? You literally do not need the pin number to dial emergency services. No one should ever have to give up their right to privacy for a significant other. If you had to share your phone PIN with her. She's not worth it.

by Elenorwalsh 1 week ago

So in this scenario, is your girlfriend reading those conversations and just keeping them private? Or not reading those at all? Genuinely just asking

by Anonymous 1 week ago

All my friends know me and my bf coexist as one entity when together lol

by One-Sandwich 1 week ago

If you need to look through my phone, then you don't trust me. If you do trust me, you wouldn't need to look through my phone. That's all it means.

by Additional_Dress 1 week ago

Thats what someone shady says.

by Both_Professor 1 week ago

You proved their point - you don't trust them.

by Virginiawilderm 1 week ago

Yup. Don't trust anyone using shady double speak.

by Both_Professor 1 week ago

Unfortunately it appears you don't know what that means.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

DEMACIA!

by Additional_Dress 1 week ago

I mean that is true. Like when someone keeps telling "I'm gonna be honest" it's usually a lie.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Entierly depends on each relationship and what habits they have established with eachother. If you have the habit of being ok with your partner looking at your phone and youre suddenly not it usually means you have something to hide. Its usually more the sudden change than anything.

by One-Sandwich 1 week ago

I dont think this is an unpopular opinion

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Nailed it

by Kindly-Engine 1 week ago

100%

by Sorry_Anybody_3375 1 week ago

I'm glad you have a system that works well in your relationship, I get the googling everything thing lmao, I do that too. I completely understand what you're saying, a dramatic shift would be suspicious. I wish you and your husband the best!

by Informal_Soup 1 week ago

Privacy is not synonymous with secrecy. Personally, I think it gets ruder when someone looks at my phone when it rings or pings and asks, "You gonna get that?" It's intrusive.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Completely agree.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The point is that anything you're hiding shouldn't be there in the first place.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why is that?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'd imagine it's not that unpopular. No-one has business on my phone except me. I honestly could show everything on my phone to a friend, or a significant other, but I won't because none of your business

by hailie01 1 week ago

I'm a diabetic and the app that controls my diabetes and potentially my life is on my phone.. I don't hand out my phone to anyone. Love my wife dearly but it's my because I'm cheating.

by Low-Walk-2139 1 week ago

If my spouse of 18 years, for whatever reason, ask to see my phone and I deny that request, I would understand the concern and or suspicion. Period. And vice versa. Trust yada yada yada. It's just human nature.

by Bankunding 1 week ago

This. I absolutely hate when my friends just randomly take my phone and ask for the password. I don't have anything to hide but it is personal stuff

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Asking to look through someone's phone because you need some kind of proof of something is an invasion of privacy. But casually asking your SO to borrow their phone cause yours is charging and you wanna Google how many ducks it takes to get to the moon and they're suddenly all weird and refuse to let you even touch their phone is a giant red flag regardless of how that person feels about "privacy".

by Anonymous 1 week ago

See I would be weird about that but not because I'm being shady , mostly because I've probably googled something even more bizzare than how many ducks it takes to get to the moon and I'm too embarrassed they will see my search history

by OkCorgi3466 1 week ago

Please tell me this isn't unpopular. If someone feels a need to look through someone else's phone says more about them than it does bout anyone else. Just looking at someone else's phone makes me uncomfortable.

by Fragrant-Relief-2945 1 week ago

You'd be surprised by how common the, "If you have nothing to hide, you'll have nothing to fear" attitude is. You'll see this most often in everyday life with people interacting with their spouses, kids, etc. who can't as easily escape that person.

by Powerful-Ear 1 week ago

I see what you were saying. That is just sad. It's the equivalent of saying I don't care / believe in the right to free speech because I have nothing to say.

by Fragrant-Relief-2945 1 week ago

Right. It's private. I'm a woman & wouldn't ever let someone go through my phone or know all my passwords to things. That's nuts. I've never cheated on a partner. That said, gut feelings aren't usually wrong & if someone displays suspicious actions I would condone them going through a phone. It's not usually wrong lol.

by ethelynbruen 1 week ago

It's a common McCarthyism rhetoric to justify surveillance and it's called nothing to hide argument . To me anyone using that argument on me is a power tripping and manipulating redflag

by ActuaryElectronic296 1 week ago

Me and my partner have the ability to access each other's phones at any time. For various reasons, non of which involve distrust. I have absolutely no worry that they would go through mine, nor wouldn't want to go through theirs. If they asked, I have nothing to hide, but I would absolutely feel betrayed that they feel the need to.

by Additional-Lead 1 week ago

People says "if you dont have something to hide" gives off the same energy as people who willingly and even encourage to reading others diaries.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I believe you have the right to privacy until it's proven that you've been unfaithful and/or untrustworthy. Then if you want to heal the relationship, you lose out on the privacy of your phone/computer for a while until you can rebuild that trust again. There is such thing as consequences of your actions. Don't cheat or do shady things and then there will never be a problem when it comes to privacy. Other then that? I agree completely.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I don't think anyone denies the fact that you have a right to privacy. It just seems awfully suspicious for some people.

by minervarosenbau 1 week ago

But that's also part of OPs point, it's not suspicious on its own. Sure, with other evidence, it can add up, but not allowing someone to go through your phone isn't suspicious

by MindlessAd 1 week ago

I deny it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why

by minervarosenbau 1 week ago

"If you've done nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide." There's an implication that yes you have a right to privacy but if you push for that right, it "might" be for nefarious reasons.

by Character_Owl_936 1 week ago

If you purchase a car you might use it to ram into a mob of unsuspecting civilians but we shouldn't be assuming the worst of people, that causes unnecessary division and conflict. If you don't push for your own rights they get eroded just like you explained, so we shouldn't be wary of people pushing for rights that are indeed theirs, it's foolish.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My husband does not have my password and I do not have his. If he asks to use my phone he can though. I just don't want him in every section of my life. The gay fanfiction I read in my free time is my business.

by Typical-Somewhere-77 1 week ago

My work email and calendar are linked to my phone. All of it is confidential so no one will ever be allowed access to my phone. I will not risk my career for anyone or any reason.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is the reason. I have confidential PII about my customers and my team on my phone, and if I allowed it to be accessed by an unauthorized person, I would be fired instantly. And I would deserve it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I would be fired. And lose my professional license so never be able to work in my industry again.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Why would they not give you a work phone then? Typical policy is to not even allow that to get out of any device not company property.

by Josuejast 1 week ago

We don't use them enough to be worth it. It's not like we are doing work stuff after 5 or on weekends. It's mostly to access the calendar.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Maaaaan, I have a lot of questionable screenshots on my photos for art references (nsfw artist) I don't want anyone going through my phone. My guy know my passwords to my phone and computer though, he knows I flirt with people (openish relationship). But if I found out he went through my phone without asking that would be a deal breaker. I wouldn't go through his either, it's just private and it shows a breech of trust which should have been verbally communicated before hand.

by Frussel 1 week ago

I can see why you'd think so, actually. People can be freaking paranoid even when they have no rational reason to believe that the people around them are up to anything nefarious or dishonest.

by Powerful-Ear 1 week ago

If he asks for it for a specific purpose, like a phone call or getting a number or needing a notepad app, then go for it. If it's just wanting to have a random look, no. I'm a tattooist, I have photos of my clients' bodies on there, nothing too NSFW, but still photos of their body. I wouldn't want him going through all my messages with my clients either. Some share some personal things, i discuss finances, and I feel my business is mine only.

by jrenner 1 week ago

I don't really follow the logic of "not have anything to hide, but not wanting everyone to know your business"...I could just be missing something, but that sounds like your business is what you have to hide.. Hell I don't let anyone touch my phone either, but I'm just straight up about it being bc I have stuff to hide. I don't like people in my business either lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you are that insecure or immature find someone who will share a phone with you like the good old days. Make a landline pact!

by kelsie40 1 week ago

I agree. I love to write a lot and I don't want people to have access on my docs unless I want to show them something. Hiding doesn't always mean cheating or smth, it is called privacy and your people have to respect it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You let Google/Apple do it all the time, why not a trusted friend? /s

by Due-Description5320 1 week ago

i agree, especially because i have a lot of stuff on my phone organized a certain way and i would definitely not like if it was touched. it's like going into someone's room and dumping everything out to look at things

by MapSorry3035 1 week ago

For me it's not even so much as not wanting my girlfriend to go through my phone but the fact that she doesn't trust me enough that she feels she has to look through my phone.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You are so kind, thank you!

by NarrowJellyfish8723 1 week ago

I mean you are hiding something when you're private inherently (conversations with friends etc). Not all hiding has to be nefarious though

by Josuejast 1 week ago

My buddy once asked me to take a pic of him and in the camera roll section there were nudes of his wife. We all have been friends since college. I never said a word but now I have seen his wife completely naked.

by Taurean61 1 week ago

I'd have no problem with my partner going through my phone. Will he do it? Probably not. He however does not like the idea of me going through his phone cause he feels that invades his privacy. Am i pissy about it? Hell no. Just cause i don't feel a need for privacy with my phone it doesn't mean that he doesn't have a right to privacy with his own. So i fully agree with you

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Having something to hide (e.g. surprise birthday party) isn't always a bad thing, either.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I hardly ever close out of tabs on my phone because I want to look at stuff later haha, I don't need people to judge me for that if they look at my phone haha.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The concept of privacy is not an unpopular opinion

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Depending on the circumstance it could be seen as suspicious. I personally don't see anything wrong with it if you don't have any thing to hide. It's mostly down to preferences I guess.

by Lyricstroman 1 week ago

This

by marco26 1 week ago

I personally don't see anything wrong with it if you don't have any thing to hide. I personally think it's useless if you're with someone you trust.

by leda57 1 week ago

Exactly,some people need to learn to pick their battles if you dont have anything to hide and it's only on occasion then it's barely even an inconvenience.

by Jumpy_Ad_723 1 week ago

IMO it is justified if they are behaving suspiciously and you have other reasons to doubt them, and why would I be hiding my phone from someone who I will spend my life with unless my spouse is obsessed with it I would be fine with it if it was once in a while.

by Foreign_Skill 1 week ago

In Germany your phone is so personal the police even need a warrant the same way to look through your phone as like they would need one to search your home. It has nothing to do with hiding but more with personal space and privacy which is a human right.

by Qullrich 1 week ago

Couldn't agree more. I refuse to text/email about anything I wouldn't say in front of the recipient's partner, because I know they'll probably see it. So I end up not sharing most personal details of my life since I don't want to risk that person sharing it with others. This has happened to me in the past, and it's all really unfortunate. I wish more people shared your attitude about it and there was still a reasonable expectation of privacy in this world. I doubt I'll ever be in a serious relationship again, but if was, the first boundary would be I'm not ever going through your phone, and you aren't going through mine. The people that have shared things with me should be able to do so without my partner seeing them.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Agreed, I have a few things "like my phone" I just don't want anyone messing around with. My PC, my audio equipment and my car are similar. Not hiding anything but these are very much things I spent a lot of time making into the perfect space for me and hate when I have to put everything back after someone else goofs with them or may never have again if they get damaged.

by Vilma32 1 week ago

That's why if you're gonna cheat you get two phones,

by Creola03 1 week ago

It kind of does mean that though? Why not show them unless you want to hide something? Like literally what other reason could you have? Why is privacy some holy thing in that way?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Would you allow a cop to search your car, even if you aren't hiding anything?

by MindlessAd 1 week ago

Why do you think you're entitled to know every single little thing about your partner? What in you isn't okay with someone keeping some things for themselves as well as protecting private conversations with others?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Disagree, kids should not have unrestricted access to phones. Parents should know what apps they are using, who they are talking to, and how long they are using the apps. Kids can't control themselves and some will spend literally 15 hours a day on their phone, while they fail every class. Parents who don't monitor are bad parents.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

A kid who displays problematic behaviors, yes. A good kid, absolutely not. They will justifiably see this as draconian.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

A lot of kids are good at pretending they're sweet innocent angels, but are actually doing some not so good things lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Maybe build trust with your kids before that point instead of being a drill sergeant without proof.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Privacy=I might have something I need to hide, not sure.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That's not how privacy works

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Let me see your phone.

by tward 1 week ago